


The Ultimate Sith Trial

by ChristineThalassinou1990



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kitten, Not Serious, Qui-Gon Lives, Sith Qui-Gon, Sith Trial, intertextuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 12:23:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14873687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristineThalassinou1990/pseuds/ChristineThalassinou1990
Summary: I have no excuse for this."Qui-Gon Jinn was thoroughly fed up. Fed up with the Jedi, with the Jedi Council and especially with the big pile of bullshit that ran under the name of ‘The Jedi Code’. He wanted more freedom, so he decided to try the other way."





	The Ultimate Sith Trial

Qui-Gon Jinn was thoroughly fed up. Fed up with the Jedi, with the Jedi Council and especially with the big pile of bullshit that ran under the name of ‘The Jedi Code’. He wanted more freedom, so he decided to try the other way.

The Dark Side.

The Sith.

It began easy enough. First, he had to find a master, but since his former master, Dooku, went to the Dark Side not long ago, Qui-Gon thought that it would be logical to ask him to be his teacher again. Dooku fortunately was willing to take him under his wing again. Moreover, he seemed to be happy about it. Qui-Gon thought Siths didn’t feel happiness, so it was weird, but soon he got used to it.

Second, he had to get the proper clothes. Siths were the Goths of the Star Wars galaxy, so it meant they always wore black. Always. Qui-Gon had to search at least five clothes stores to find the appropriate pieces which were good in size. He sometimes really hated his height (193 cm), but the sight of him in these clothes made it worth it. He was insanely hot, with his beautiful, stunning, not-from-this-world midnight-blue eyes and his long, silky brown hair, pulled back into a ponytail.

Then came the learning itself. For some reason he was particularly good with Force-lightning (perhaps that’s why he was chosen to be Zeus in another universe), but Force-choking wasn’t really his cup of tea. He tried to use it as rarely as he could.

After the long learning period his master finally considered him ready for the final Trial of the Sith. Dooku didn’t tell him what would this trial be, so Qui-Gon was a bit nervous, but he trusted his particular set of skills and the Force, of course, so he bravely faced the unknown.

They were in Dooku’s spacious office, and his master had a concealed cage with him. From the cage soft noises were coming, most probably from a small animal. Qui-Gon got a really bad feeling about where all of this was going.

Then Dooku tossed aside the veil that hid the animal in the cage; it was a cute little tabby kitten, with big blue eyes that were fixed on the soon-to-be-Sith before him.

“Kill the cat. However you like, with your lightsaber, with Force-lightning, or by other means. The only thing that matters is that it has to die, and it has to die by you” Dooku stated and opened the small door on the cage.

The tabby came out, cautiously, his nose always moving as he smelled his environment. Then he went straight to Qui-Gon and rubbed his head against his ankle; that was the highest point he reached.

Qui-Gon was thoroughly shocked and sickened. He hadn’t ever hurt an animal on purpose, let alone kill it. Not even the ones that tried to eat him on his missions; he barely just disabled them so he could escape.

“No” he shook his head firmly.

Dooku narrowed his eyes disapprovingly.

“This is your final Trial, and I’ve already put too much effort into it, so I won’t allow you to fail. Do it!”

“Meow?” the kitten asked, looking up at Qui-Gon trustingly.

Qui-Gon’s eyes filled with tears as he looked back at the innocent life before him.

“No” he repeated, picking up the kitten and hugging him to his chest. “I won’t hurt him. And if you want him dead, then you have to fight me first.”

Dooku couldn’t decide if he wanted to facepalm, to bang his head into the wall or drink all of the six bottles of Alderaan wine that were stored in his cupboard.

“Then what the hell do you want to do?” he asked his apprentice.

Qui-Gon glanced down at his little companion.

“Can I keep him?” he asked.


End file.
